Falling Droplet

From House of Hozz

Written on 2/07/09 by Ziggy

The Story

Birth into light

Swell with the joy

Joined by the kin

Sing from the soul

Still more come forth

Peace in the throng

Peace ever long

Peace stretches on

Peace stretches on

Loosed from our bonds

Free now to fall

Course through the air

Strain in the song

Contention in the throng

Friends growing far away

Cut off

Drifting

Listless

See the sky

What are colors?

Hue of sadness

Shade of anger

Touch of brilliance

Tone of peace

Combined without

Throughout within

Glitter nearby

Flash and flicker

Immense presence

Calming and corruscating

Lost kindred

Sepearted by the void

Fellow travelers

Common brothers

Dancing through the air

Downward to where?

Darkness ahead

Tinted emerald

Swallows up the calm

Rush and a roar

Alight on a leaf

Warm, but alone

Plants sing a different song

Leaves quiver

Recieve the rain again

Feel the brethren flowing within

Join in their tune

Now better thoughts

Connected with the forest

Roll slowly down

Don't let me go!

Falling again

Lonely again

New joys await?

Expectant

Hear the masses singing

So close now

Nearer

Soon

Here, home at last

Swell with the joy

Joined to the kin

Sing from the soul

Roll in the course

Life in the throng

Burst through our bonds

Cut through the earth

Crash and the roar

One we will be

Down to the sea

Analysis

Please feel free to add your analysis here.

Ziggy's analysis

I started this story with the intention to tell the story of a droplet being seperated from the Heart of Water and falling to the forest floor to join a river to the ocean.

I got goosebumps reading it again. I was trying to capture the pain and disorientation of seperation, and the joy of reunion. It's a lot shorter than I had imagined. It always seems longer when you're writing it.

Returning to this short work after a long absence, it still makes my scalp crawl a bit. I really enjoy the expectation and the longing. Ziggy 20:52, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

Reading it again after a time, it is not very poignant, but a few parts in the transitions give me a thrill. Perhaps we could put this in the comic somewhere. Ziggy 23:14, 21 April 2011 (UTC)

Toad's Analysis

I'm bad at reading poetry, especially poetry that doesn't use actual sentences. So, I feel like I'm a bad judge here. But, I did figure out that it was a raindrop about 2/3 down (while it was on the leaf). It took me a while to decide if it was literal or figurative (it is literal and anthropomorphic with some figurative "accounts" from the perspective of the droplet), but once I got that I was able to follow it well enough. I liked it better in a second reading, since now I knew how to read it and the first part made more sense.

It didn't evoke a lot of emotion for me, but again, I think this is the wrong medium to get that kind of response from me. It might be more potent if it was read aloud. The descriptive language was good, though, and I did always recognize the emotions you were trying to bring across. I think. --Toad 22:23, 12 February 2009 (UTC)